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I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I’d pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I’ve been given. “Shrek is love”, I would say, “Shrek is life”. My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I ...Read more

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Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim ‘Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles’. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your ...Read more

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This is why eSports will never hit the general public as hard as for instance soccer. the way you kids are spamming this chat is just ruining the whole experience for a grown man. Seriously. Grow up.

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Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it’s mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this ...Read more

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A girl…. AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through ...Read more

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its DANKsgiving 🖕🏼🖕🏼U HUNGRY 💯HUNGRY 😘😘HOES‼️ 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🌬🌬🌬THIS WEDNESDAY BECOMES 🍃💨🍃WEED-DAY 🍃💨🍃—> AND 🌽🦃🌽 THURSDAY🙇🏽👨‍👩‍👧‍👧👩‍👩‍👧‍👧👨‍👨‍👧‍👧 BECOMES THIRST-DAY 💦 🍗🦃🍗💦AS YOU CHOKE ON A TURKEY 🦃🦃🐔DICK🍗 AND FEAST 🍴🍽ON CUM-STUFFED 💯 🙄😜😝YAMS 🍆🍠👌🏽👍🏼🖕🏼. SEND THIS TO TEN BLAZERS💨🌬💯 IN 🔟TEN 🔟🔟SECONDS OR THE TURKEY 🦃GODS 👀👁🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾WILL 💩SHIT 💩IN YOUR PUMPKIN PIE 🌽🍰AND YOU WILL WAKE UP💤😴🙅🏽 WITH ...Read more

EmojipastaNSFW
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Our Father Who AWPs in heavenCS be thy game,Uncase begun, them skins be won, Convert- and not a Mil-Spec.Give us this day a StatTrak knifeAnd forgive us when we rage quitAs we forgive those who aimbot against usAnd lead us not into scamnationUndeliver us a Battle ScarredGaben.

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I sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling my wallet by dropping Steam Sales onto 12 000 games at once. People say to me that a person being a Newell is impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I have 10 computers ...Read more

I Sexually Identify As
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Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game “Among Us”! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! ...Read more

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It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but ...Read more

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Twas the night 🌙 before DICKmas 🌌🌠🎄and all through the house 🏠, BIG ERECTIONS 🍆 WERE STIRRING, AS BIG AS A MOUSE. 😮🙌🌭🌽Their SCHLONGS were hung ⬇️ from their groins with good care, 🏒 In hopes 🙏🏼 MAGIC PUSSIES 😻🌈😜 soon would be there. 😮😮 The SLUTS were all nestled, snug in their beds 😴🛌 ...Read more

Emojipasta
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VAROITUS:Jos saat sähköpostin jossa lukee, että voit tunkea pesäpallomailanperseeseesi.ÄLÄ tee sitä!! Se on huijausta ja sattuu kuulemma aivanhelvetisti…siitähän voi tulla myös tikkuja…kopioi ja varoita muita!!!

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are there people 👫who actually think 🤔💭💭sucking dick🍆💦is gay?✋❌👬 you’re sharing👍🍖 protein🍗 you’re 😏👌admiring masculine💪 🍆👀physique😩😩 being in the vicinity of other ⬆️high ⬆️testosterone males 👬👬👅⤴️increases ⤴️your own testosterone👌👍👅 eating pussy 😿🙅‍♂️ is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨because you’re literally slurp😏ing down ⤵️estrogen⤵️and long-term relationships have been proven to ⬇️lower ⬇️testosterone. spartans 🏋️‍♀️💪had gay 👨‍❤️‍👨👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨orgies👅💦 all the 🕡🕜time ...Read more

Emojipasta
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Daddy’s 🧔 cummies, 💦 nice 😊 and yummy 😋 Thick 😫👌and gooey, feel like honey 🍯 That sweet 🍭 milk, 🥛 oh-so-tasty 🤤 Daddy, 🧔 Daddy, 🧔 please be hasty!💨 My tongue 👅 swirls 😛 round 🔁 and round 🔁 While Daddy 🧔 gives my ass 🍑 a great big pound 🤜💥 Over 😑 in the corner, wrapped 🎁 in chains ...Read more

EmojipastaNSFW
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🎃 TWIST MY STEM 🎃 SLAP MY BUTT 🎃 MAKE ME YOUR 🎃 PUMPKIN SLUT 🎃 EAT MY SEED 🎃 EAT MY PIE 🎃 JUST DONT FINISH IN MY EYE 🎃 FUCK 🎃 MY 🎃 BIG 🎃 FAT 🎃 PUMPKIN 🎃 ASS 🎃 DADDYS GOURD LOOKS OH SO YUMMY 🎃 SHOOT YOUR GOO AND FILL ...Read more

EmojipastaNSFW
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⛔️🚫✋STOP✋🚫⛔️ 🚫You’ve violated 👿👎 the law!🚫 😖😖But now…😏😖 😈You get to violate😈 My body😣💦💦💦💨💨 With your 😱 BIG 😱 MEATY😱CRIMINAL 😱 COCK😱 in my ass 👉👌👉👌 Now put that 👦🏿 REDGUARD DICK 👦🏿 in my tight 👉👉👉👌👌👌👌 👦🏻BRETON BUTT 👦🏻 or you’re going to JAIL 🚫🚫🚫 and be carful 😖 or I might pay with ...Read more

EmojipastaNSFW
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🏠🏠🏠up on the housetop reindeer COCKS 🐴🐴🐴🍆🍆out whips Santa’s 🎅🏿🎅🏿 big ol DICK🍆🍆🍆ready to shower all his thotties 💦💦💦🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼 with some REAL Christmas cheer 🎄🎄🎁🎁🎁🎁 open that chimney wide for old saint DICK♨️♨️♨️🆘🆘🚿🚿🚿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿 so he can give u some milk 🍼🍼🍼🍼 for those cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍆🍆send to 5️⃣ of ur thottiest elf HOES 🙆🏼🙆🏼🙆🏼👯👯 or santas ...Read more

Emojipasta
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🥳MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS ☃️🎉 ITS DICKMAS TIME 😈😼👌🏼👈🏼💦 H0E H0E H0E 🌬🌬 SANTA CLAUS 🎅 IS CUMMING ❄️ TO TOWN 😜😜 SHOUT OUT MY BOY J-CHRIST 🙏🏼😇 😇TONIGHT WE CELEBRATE TH0TMAS 👯♀️👩❤️💋👩 OPEN YA GIFTS AND LEGS 🙈🙊🤯🤯 🍆💦 ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU 😈 🤪😋😍💦🍑

Emojipasta
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