Home/Masturbation

Category: Masturbation

Masturbation, onanism, autoeroticism, beating the meat, and flicking the bean – a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. If you are interested in this heinous sin of self-pollution, browse this collection of masturbation copypastas!

Copypastapedia Latest Copypastas

In:

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but ...Read more

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hey 🅱itch 🐶, no 🙅 nut 🥜 november 📅 is finally 😏 over 😫, time ⏰ to release 😋 all those hard-earned 💸 🤑 cummies 🍆 💦 💦 now at destroy 🔨 dick 🍆 december 😩!! the rules 👌 are simple, 1st ☝ day, nut once 🍆 💦, 2nd ✌ day, nut twice 🍆 💦 ...Read more

Emojipasta
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I AM ANNOUNCING MY IMMINENT MASTURBATION. I am aware that the announcement of imminent masturbation has been a serious reocurring issue lately, and I am here with my bottom-level social skills to ensure that it will only worsen. I hope that this server full of mostly male members will appreciate the fact that I will ...Read more

NSFW
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MASTURBATION NOTICE It has come to our attention that students have been masturbating in the school bathrooms. Masturbating on school property is ILLEGAL and against school district policy The bathroom pipes are NOT designed to handle human discharge or anything other than your regular bathroom duties The excessive amounts of discharge build-up has caused a blockage in the ...Read more

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Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is ...Read more

NSFW
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Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed ...Read more

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There’s one thing you should know about me. I’m a black belt in masturbation. I’ve jerked my gerkin so much over the past 12 years or so, that my grip is now legendary. I once crushed a man’s hand just by giving him a handshake. Every time he uses that hand now, he thinks of ...Read more

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I swear all she does all day is masterbate and masterbate, it sounds like she’s mixing mac n cheese and you can hear it through the whole fucking house. My mom has been complaining to her but my sister just started going louder and louder. Worst part is my computer is in her room and ...Read more

NSFW
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I’m over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now I’m just stroking my shit I’m horny as fuck man I’m a freak man like

NSFW
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Earlier today I was really horny, and I saw what I thought to be a blank DVD. I thought, DVDs have a tight hole, they might feel pretty good. So I put my soft pp into the hole of the DVD, and for a few seconds as I started getting harder, it felt pretty good, ...Read more

NSFW
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