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Penis copypastas

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In: Penis

Nice cock bro

Nice cock bro. Good girth, pretty nice curve, tip-to-shaft ratio is perfect; only issue is the colour consistency, it gets a little light near the tip. I give it an overall 8.7/10; now onto the cum velocity testing.

  • 16
In: Penis

Mum’s Visa

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled “Mum’s Visa” has been declined, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicious activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank. The listing follows 1x Monster Horse Dildo (24′) – ...Read more

  • 0
In: Penis

Pleasant fondling to your genital area

Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim ‘Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles’. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your ...Read more

  • 1
In: Penis

BIG MEATY CRIMINAL COCK

⛔️🚫✋STOP✋🚫⛔️ 🚫You’ve violated 👿👎 the law!🚫 😖😖But now…😏😖 😈You get to violate😈 My body😣💦💦💦💨💨 With your 😱 BIG 😱 MEATY😱CRIMINAL 😱 COCK😱 in my ass 👉👌👉👌 Now put that 👦🏿 REDGUARD DICK 👦🏿 in my tight 👉👉👉👌👌👌👌 👦🏻BRETON BUTT 👦🏻 or you’re going to JAIL 🚫🚫🚫 and be carful 😖 or I might pay with ...Read more

EmojipastaNSFW
  • 0
In: Penis

Rawr

Rawr🐲🐊 x3😋 nuzzles how are you😉🙂 pounces on you😛 you’re😃 so😄 warm🤒😈 o3o😏 notices😯 you have a bulge🍆 o:😯😮 someone’s happy😃 ;)😉😜 nuzzles your necky wecky😈😗~ murr~ hehehe😊 rubbies👋🤚 your bulgy🍆 wolgy you’re😌 so big😯😮 :oooo rubbies👋🤚 more on your bulgy🍆 wolgy it🚫 doesn’t stop🛑 growing ·///· 😐kisses😚😘 you🙂 and lickies😝👅💦💦

Emojipasta
  • 0
In: Penis

Cock inspection is NOT required at the voting booths

⚠️WARNING⚠️ cock inspection is NOT required at the voting booths!!!! don’t be tricked like me!! So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting “official” came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we ...Read more

  • 0
In: Penis

A picture of mine phallus

Oh mine GOD,😳😳 I accidentally 🙈🙈 hath sent😳 thou a picture of mine phallus 🍆🍆…prithee delete it!❌❌🛑! ‘Lest. ..thou desire to look?😏😏 Haha I jest..🤣🤣, Delete it.🛑❌..Should thee crave..?😳🙈… Haha nay,❌ Banish it.🛑🛑..’Lest?🙈😳

Emojipasta
  • 2
In: Penis

Cock is one of my favorite tastes

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my ...Read more

NSFW
  • 1
In: Penis

Dicks are so cute

Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like” owo nya? :3c” hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^)

  • 1
In: Penis

If every male on earth got a boner

If every male on earth got a boner at the same time, the earth’s rotation would slow down. Assume there are about 3.8 billion males, with an average dick height of about 80 cm off the ground. The average dick weighs about 100 grams. That’s a combined mass of 380,000,000 kg of cock. Now we must make an ...Read more

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