There’s one thing you should know about me. I’m a black belt in masturbation. I’ve jerked my gerkin so much over the past 12 years or so, that my grip is now legendary. I once crushed a man’s hand just by giving him a handshake. Every time he uses that hand now, he thinks of me, the man who crippled his hand. And you, sword in hand, want to challenge me? I can break that sword in half in 3 seconds. You can try, if you want to. But just know that I can ruin your life with one swift motion. Well, what’s it gonna be punk?
Black belt in masturbation
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