I’ve been a Furry for 10 years now and want to stop

I’ve been a Furry for 10 years now and want to stop. The problem is that the group of furs that I hang out with don’t like me now and if I took my fursuit off, they would probably beat me up and kill me. My last boyfriend (a cute b/w wolf) gave me herpes on my ass and now I have a hard time taking a shit. Sometimes I have to take an Ex-lax so my shit will come out easy. I’ve never had sex with a girl, because I don’t know how to pick them up. That’s why I turned Furry. But now I’m just tired of guys ripping my ass when they don’t use lubrication. I’ve had to get stitches three times. I went out with a fox last night who said he only gives, he doesn’t receive, so I had to suck his dick and he made me swallow or he would kick my ass.